In this provocation, we suggest that much (although not all) current uncertainty visualization simplifies the myriad forms of uncertainty into error bars around an estimate. This apparent simplification into error bars comes only as a result of a vast metaphysics around uncertainty and probability underlying modern statistics. We use examples from religion to present alternative views of uncertainty (metaphysical or otherwise) with the goal of enriching our conception of what kind of uncertainties we ought to visualize, and what kinds of people we might be visualizing those uncertainties for.